If you've never met me in person, you won't know that I'm a 25 year old gal who's trying to find her path in this life. You might not know that I've lived in 3 states in 3 years and the struggles that come with that. You definitely don't know that my bathroom sink is coated in toothpaste and that I have ants crawling in my trash can right now.
Why am I sharing these things?
Lately, it seems like more and more people are pointing fingers at others who "make their life seem perfect", including those of us who choose to put our lives online for people to read about and learn from. One thing I'd like to add, is that if you're friends online with someone or "following" them and you get irritated with their posts or pictures, then I think you should consider ending your online relationship. If their attempt at making their life always look beautiful offends you, why are you wasting your time looking at them? Okay, moving on and you should too.
Just because I'm not writing posts about the meals I've royally screwed up or how I burned myself from using essential oils without a carrier, does not mean these things don't happen. (Yes, they happened. I have a scar.) And maybe I should write about things like that, isn't that just another way for you to learn from me?
I'm here now to tell you this, my life is not perfect. I don't "have it all together". I struggle. I lose it. I forget. I take the convenient route. I'm human.
So, if you could see me through your screen, who would you see?
You'd see a woman trying to get by. You'd see a family of two budgeting their money because if they didn't, ends might not always meet. You'd see a family who has chosen to go without some of our modern day luxuries so they can pay off college debt. You'd see an empty fridge at the end of the month.
You'd see me struggling. I don't like to be one of those people who always comes off as being busy, but I still struggle balancing my time. I have a job. I have a husband and a home to maintain. I have hobbies, including this one--writing for you, that I love. Life can be a struggle.
You'd see dark circles under my eyes, no make-up, a loose ponytail sitting atop my head, and a pimple on my chin. Even though I don't have children, I still don't put myself first. Or second. I want to please my husband, my friends, my coworkers. Days go by without me having the time or energy to take a shower. Many, many days go by without me even thinking about combing my hair or putting on deodorant (does that just make me a hippie?). I have days in which I look put together, but those days certainly don't outnumber the days in which I look, well, like me.
You'd see take-out boxes in my trash. Yes, you just read that correctly. Even though we live a life much different than almost everyone I know because of our diet (among other things), we aren't perfect. Sometimes I don't feel like cooking. Sometimes we eat supper on the couch. Sometimes, though not often, we order take out from the Thai place down the street. Sometimes I just need a break.
You'd see dust on my shelves and stuff piled on the dining table. Sometimes I look around my house and wonder how in the world it got so messy. Not just messy, but dirty. I don't even have kids to blame this on. I can't even point the finger at the dog, he's so good he doesn't chew shoes or the corners of the couch. Cleaning is not fun for me.
You'd hear a nasty tone used toward my husband. My marriage is great, it's more than great actually. But it's certainly not perfect. At the end of the day, I married a sinner and so did my husband. We snap. We disagree. We go to bed mad. We give each other the cold shoulder. The difference between my life now and how it was before I knew Christ, is that I forgive him. I forgive myself. I have grace and mercy. I apologize.
You'd definitely see a woman questioning herself. As I mentioned, we live differently that most people I know. We choose to eat food that nourishes our body, not just food that tastes good on our tongue. It's a lot of work. We use essential oils to maintain health and heal our bodies, along with other natural remedies. It requires education, lots of reading. We are Followers and Believers in Christ, and because of that we often don't see eye to eye with people we love. At times, we are separated from people we love who are also Christians because of things we believe differently. It's not always easy, but then again Jesus never promised a life of ease.
I don't question my belief in God or having given my life over to him, but when you have people telling you this is the right way or that way is wrong, you question. I've learned to rely on my relationship with God for most answers. Why do I take the time to make my family meals that are nutrient-dense and real? Because I think that's the way God intended us to eat. I think he wants us to take care of the bodies he's given us and that's one way I can do that. I think he gave us animals for nourishment, but with that, I think there are certain ways of doing that that glorify him, and other ways, most of our modern day ways that simply don't. Why do I use essential oils and other remedies that are natural and have been around for hundreds if not thousands of years? Because God gave them to us. They are real and pure, and why wouldn't I want to pay a little more for something that I know is good for me? Nobody has to tell me that bone broth is good for me and is without a long list of side effects.
So, the next time you think your favorite writer is living an easy life, or your long lost friend who lives in a different country isn't struggling, think again. We share online what we think people want to see. I could be terribly wrong, but I don't think you want to come here every week and see a burnt up meal. (If you did see that, why would you trust me to provide wholesome, yummy meals?) I don't think you want to see my dirty house or hear about how my husband and I disagree on how the laundry should be folded.
But just because I'm not sharing those things, doesn't mean they don't happen. I'm not perfect, so please don't hold me on some high pedestal, give me grace. Be kind. I am different than you, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.
So, are you guilty of judging people based on the "perfect life" they portray online?