I'll be honest, before I was married, I didn't seek out God's word for "good wife instructions". I know many of you sought to be a "Proverbs 31" wife before you were even married, and that's great. For the rest of us, trying to figure out what God expects from us as a wife can be intimidating.
My goal here is to get you thinking about how you can become a more godly wife by highlighting Scripture of women we don't want to be. God is very clear in his Word, there are certain attitudes and behaviors that are not acceptable to him. The thing we must remember friends, is that each of us can fall under each of these traps at any given time, but when Jesus died for us, he forgave all of our past sins and all the sins we'll commit in the future. Give yourself some grace, but ask for his help.
But Lot's wife looked back as she was following behind him, and she turned into a pillar of salt.
Starting in Genesis (19:26), we see what happens when as a wife, we don't trust in our husband or in God.
Let's put this verse into context. Angels had come to Lot and ordered he and his family to leave Sodom. The sins of this city were so great, God intended to destroy the city and its inhabitants, but he had mercy on Lot and his family. After hesitation, Lot agreed to leave, but the angels told them, "Run for your lives! And don't look back or stop anywhere in the valley!"
Lot's wife looked back. She disobeyed instructions from God's angels and didn't trust that her husband would care for her during this difficult time. What are some things in your life that you need to let go of and not look back on? If God told you to do something, and was very clear about how and why, would you hesitate? If your husband asked you to trust him during a difficult or trying time, would you question him?
We need to learn to let go and trust our husband. Trust also in the Lord's plan for your life.
Proverbs 5:6 For she cares nothing about the path of life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn't realize it.
This particular Proverb isn't necessarily referring to a wife, but instead the author is referring to "immoral women". But as wives, don't we want to live morally? Well then, first let's look at "the path of life". It's so easy for us to think about the future, what we want, where we want to live, the job we'll have, and so on. We like to dream, and there's nothing wrong with that, but what about the path we take to get there? God tells us that we should care about the path, about the journey. He tells us instead of just focusing on the goal, whatever it may be, we should concern ourselves with the here and now. Today, start living each day for Christ.
When I think of staggering down a crooked trail, I think of two things. First, that we are so self-involved, we cannot see what's happening around us. Maybe that's too deep, it could just mean to quit drinking so much... eh?
Second, when we do this life our way, we often get tripped up or jolted around like the little metal ball in a pinball machine. When we rely on God, and seek out his will for us, that doesn't mean it will be easy, but we'll at least get some direction.
Proverbs 19:13 ...a quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping.
Oh man, that was me. Still is sometimes. It's so hard to let go of our pride and stop being mad, not even mad just being defensive.
You guys know how annoying a leaky faucet is right? People have used drippy faucets to torture other people, that's how annoying the sound is. I don't know about you, but I would never want my husband to think of me as quarrelsome or annoying.
Avoid quarrels by listening and trying to understand. Avoid quarrels by walking away and taking a few minutes to yourself, that's okay. Avoid quarrels by submitting.
Yep, I just threw out the "s" word. Submit. We are called to submit to our husbands. So what if "his way" to the restaurant is longer, if that's the way he wants to go, let him. Biblical submission does not mean waiting on him hand and foot or letting someone abuse you, it simply means to serve well or to honor.
Proverbs 21:9 It is better to dwell in the corner of a housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. King James Bible
It's no wonder men want a "man cave". That's today's equivalent of living in the corner of the roof. (I'm not saying him having his own space or you having yours is a bad thing.) Can you imagine though, really? When we nag or micromanage our husbands, it would be better for them to escape to their den.
Let's all be honest, if your husband got after you as much as you get after him, wouldn't you want to run and hide as well? I'm certainly not pointing fingers here, I'm guilt of being a "brawling woman" at times.
Some versions translate "wide house" as being pretty. The idea is the same, imagine the most beautiful, well put together home. Go ahead, take a minute. Mine has a wood burning fireplace and hardwood floors, an open kitchen, and big windows facing the mountains. So peaceful. Now, place a brawling woman in there.... someone whose words cut to the bone. Someone who doesn't acknowledge the hard work her husband does. A woman that bosses her husband around or accuses him of being lazy. A woman who only wants things done her way. That house suddenly loses its appeal.
The Bible is clear, a woman who doesn't trust in her husband's judgment and who focuses only on her needs, or a woman who picks fights and uses her words to against her husband is not a wife that is honoring God, or her husband. Even if you aren't a Believer in Christ, could you argue with these points?
Father, we pray that you would change our hearts. That you would examine us from the inside out and help us to better understand what it is that you expect from us as wives or wives someday. God, we lift up the men in our lives to you, that you would show us how to best honor them. We ask that you would show us how to focus less on our needs, and more on theirs. Lord, we thank you for the husband you gave us, he is a treasure and it's our hope that we can start becoming a wife that not only honors our husband, but glorifies you. Amen.